Sunday, August 10, 2008

story2 - SecReT wiThiN

After the incident, every lonely night, I talk and pray in my heart…
“I do really love you, I will love you always… and I’ll keep it as a promise, I hope you heard that, Annie…” this was probably the first and the last confession I had said to a girl…
In that sudden, my life had changed tremendously. My heart as fragile as glasses, it was just…
Going to break into pieces…

* * * * * *

It was the first day I moved into this new house. After spending half of my childhood in the old house, my parent decided to buy a new house and tried to live in a brand new and unfamiliar environment. At that time, the place was not yet fully-developed, it was only a small housing estate in the town. My life was like every kid, innocent, naughty and playful enough…

Hot sun burned my skin, I could feel the burning heat that shined on my hair when I was on my way back home from a new yet boring school life. Ah… after finished eating a hearty and scrumptious lunch prepared by my mum, I took a cooling and rejuvenating bath. Then I started to do tonnes of homework in my room. Unexpectedly, noise came from outside of the window made me feel curious and looked out from the window. I saw Lorries, workers and mess stuff in front of my eyes. For some reason, I knew, I will have a new neighbour soon. Realised that there was still a bunch of unfinished homework, my pen started to dance on the exercise book again, my life went on as usual for another half a year…

Time slipped off from me in the speed of light, one day, the owner of the opposite house moved in. The children of the family was making loud noise, running and wandering around the new living environment with excitement. I could not see the face of the family, but I was very sure, from my instinct, they will be a very friendly family…

* * * * * *

“Today, we have a new friend joins our class, her name is Annie. Well, let’s welcome her with a big applause,” our class teacher said. Everyone was clapping their hands and cheering for her welcoming, except for me. The first impression she gave me was too good until I was amazed and stunned by her angelic smile and Barbie-doll-liked eyes. Is her an angel? A fair complexion, a black and straight hair… awesome! I just couldn’t resist her beauty and I started to fantasize, daydreaming…

Ring…
Recess bell rang and it woke me up from building castle in the air. After having few mouthful of mineral water, I decided to go to school canteen and ‘kill away my hunger’. Just at the moment, I saw Annie, sitting alone in our class. “Today is the first day of studying in this new school, may be she still can’t adapt to the environment, but… should I walk forward and make friend with her?” somehow, my shyness ask me not to do so. I walked away and joined my ‘gang’ and friends from the other class. I was shocked by the topic they were discussing. It was all related to the new girl, Annie. “How the heck they managed to receive ‘news’ such quickly?”. My friends kept on questioning me about Annie. I hate gossips and disgusted by their questions. So, I just simply responded them.

Few weeks later, I was playing with my puppy, Mocha, in the compound of my house, I heard some noise came from the direction of the new house. I looked at the new neighbour and I was shocked by what was in front of my eyes. A girl was playing with her brother and sister – it was Annie! Thanks to my blurriness, now only I found out that my new neighbour was her. Oh my god! How stupid was I, never know it was her. I planned to greet her, but once again my shyness made me moved a step backward and be a ‘chicken’. Yet, from that moment, I could see her everyday. How nice the feeling is when an angel lives in front of my house.

* * * * * * *

I had been living as a coward for more than four years, even though my other family members and her family had became good friends. Yet, I still managed to get her mobile number, until the year of Form3, I wasn’t study in the same class with her anymore. One day, I received news that she had a boyfriend, my heart was broken; totally. Every time when I saw them, the scar in my heart grew deeper. Although I pretended to be strong and not to show out my sadness in front of my friends and family, but every time I tuned and listened to sentimental songs, my nose will get itchy and tears started to fall.

That year, I had grown into a different person, after such disastrous thing happened on me and the aftermath changed me a lot. Yet, at year-end school break, her relationship with the boy was found out by her parent. Her parent was so upset and decided to separate them off forcefully by sending her to another new school. Should I feel happy or sad? Happy because she broke up with her boyfriend? Or feel sad because I couldn’t see her in school anymore? I faced dilemma.
I gained my courage, to send her a short message with mobile service. I did not put much hope on the action I had taken. I was waiting for her reply from afternoon until evening. Wait and wait…

Miraculously, my mobile alarmed with message tone at night, I quickly rushed to get my mobile and read what she replied. This was the starting point when I got to know her closer and we kept in touch by this way. Sometimes, we would meet at shopping complex and watch movies in cinema. I even had a chance to celebrate her 15th birthday with her in a restaurant with surprises. I thought it was the happiest moment I had ever been. Yet, the worst was just few steps ahead from me…

* * * * * * *

It had been almost a year we chat in SMS and MSN throughout our Form 4’s life. The chance to come out and meet each other became lesser and lastly reached zero as there were too many exams and we were too busy with our study. Slowly, I could feel that she started to neglect me… and my worry was I might be disturbing her if I always SMS her. And after some time, I stopped contacting her…
I had lost confidence and I thought it will be better to let things go naturally…

One day, just as I was thinking the same rubbish, suddenly my phone rang and distracted my mind. I picked up the phone…
“Hello?”
“Hello, is there Chad?”
“Yes, who is speaking?”
“I’m Annie’s mum, Annie… she had just met a serious car accident, please come to Central Hospital quick! The ward number is 3b9. Please come quickly, she wanted to have LAST conversation with you… she is going to... leave us very soon…” her mum hung off the phone call just like that…
My phone slipped off from my right hand. Before I could react and my mind went blank totally, adrenalin drove me and I rushed to tell me parent… on the way to the hospital, my soul was chasing with time, hoping that everything was not true. Tears fell from my eyes like the rain outside of the car. Could it be God’s tears?

* * * * * * *

I rushed into the hospital without losing any second and looked for Annie’s ward. I was afraid, if everything had been too late…
“3b4… 3b5… 3b6… …ah… 3b9”
My heart was beating so hard as if it was counting the time like a ticker timer when I was searching for Annie’s ward…

Everyone was standing beside the bed include her dad, mum, brother and sister, many were sobbing, some cried uncontrollably. I forced myself not to let Annie see my tears.
“Ann…” I was holding her hand, remained speechless and the pain took over and conquered my whole sense.
“Chad… I’m sorry for not replying your message and stop caring about you… because I don’t trust love anymore and I’m doubted if I can give u happiness. But I have regretted, I have regretted for everything… I do love you Chad, I do… but everything is useless now… I …
Before she could finish her words, she closed her eyes… I could hear doctor and nurses’ footsteps rushed in… Without any signal or warning, I blanked out and collapsed at the moment…

I had lost contact with her whole family after I woke up… It had been 3 days I was in unconscious state… I tried so hard to ask my parent about them, they remained silent. I only knew that they moved out of the house when I reached home…

* * * * * * *

After the incident, every lonely night, I talk and pray in my heart…
“I do really love you, I will love you always… and I’ll keep it as a promise, I hope you heard that, Annie…” this was probably the first and the last confession I had said to a girl…
In that sudden, my life had changed tremendously. My heart as fragile as glasses, it was just…
Going to break into pieces…

* * * * * * *

One year later, I graduated and finished my secondary education with flying colours. I had proved to Annie and myself that I lived well. Looking at the sky, I believed she will always watch me and bless me…

“Knock-knock”

“Sorry sir, I was late,” I say to the 60years-old-lecturer with wrinkles on his friendly face. He turns and nods his head. I quickly find myself a comfort seat, settle down and take out a notebook to take down what the old, white-hair-lecturer teaches in class. Just as I am preparing myself for the class, I look up and take a glimpse at a corner. I see a familiar figure sitting not very far from me. I take a closer look, almost unbelievable, it is HER, it is… Annie…

Flowers need sunshine,
Violets need dew,
All angels in the heaven know I need you;
Years may fly,
Tears may dry,
But my love to you will never die

THE END..

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